If theres one type of people that I cant stand, its white people. White people think theyre so cool, but in reality, white people suck. They suck far, far worse than anything that has ever sucked before.

 

　　　　

　　　　如果说有哪种人是我不能忍受的，那就是白种人了。白人觉得他们很酷，但是实际上，白种人糟糕透顶。比其他任何东西都糟糕。

　　　　

　　　　For starters, white people dont even have any offensive derogatory terms in which to refer to them. Cracker? Honkey? Lame. If a black person was to be called a ******, or a Chinese person directly referred to as a chink, you would either be shot, or karate chopped on the spot. Call a white person a cracker and see what happens. Nothing. Theyre just going to get into their Ford Taurus and head on back to suburbia. Sure, different nationalities from which white people are derived have their own names that might cause controversy, but who gives a **** really.

　　　　

　　　　首先，在白种人的词典里，对他们自己可没有任何攻击、损贬的词语。白人佬（Cracker）？白鬼（Honkey）？错。可如果一个黑人被叫******,或是一名中国人被叫做中国佬（chink），你肯定要么会吃枪子儿，要么就被空手道当场砍倒。（空手道？！）。叫个白人白人佬试试看。什么都不会发生。他们只会走回他们的福特Taurus，开回他们在郊区的房子。当然，从不同国家而来的白人们有各自的名字，这些名字也可能引发一场争吵，可是谁会被叫做****啊。

　　　　

　　　　Another thing about white people is that they are scared. If you dont believe me, ring the doorbell of any random house at 2:30 in the morning. If a white person lives there, he’’ll open the door clutching a wooden baseball bat, while pissing on himself. You have no need to fear the bat, because he will not swing on you, nor will he even attempt to stop you from walking in and stealing his VCR. Now, if a black person or a Chinese person happen to dwell in the house, you would either be shot, or karate chopped before you even made it to the front door. To emphasize my point, take the Bird Flu for instance. A few chickens in Texas come down with a cough, and the entire European Union, which consists of, and is ran by white people, bans the import of chicken from the United States. Who gives a ****? Dont be a bunch of *******. Eat it, its good for you. This leads me to my next point.

　　　　

　　　　另一件关于白人的事情是：他们是惊弓之鸟。你要是相信我，那就在早上2:30按任意一户人家的门铃。如果这家住着白人，他打开门时手里会抓这木质棒球棍，而且吓得尿了裤子。你可不需要害怕这球棍，因为他不会拿这东西打你，你甚至也不需要担心他会阻止你走进房间偷走他的录像机。而如果是一个黑人或是中国人住在房子里，你肯定在走入房间之前就吃了枪子儿，或者是被空手道当场砍翻。为了强调我的观点，我拿-举个例。一直在德克萨斯的小鸡得了咳嗽，继而整个欧盟——它整个都是由白人构成，也由白人运行——禁止了从美国的鸡肉进口。Who gives a ****？别成为一群****。（这，，太抽象了，，不懂）吃了它，它对你有好处。这也让我得出了下面的一个观点。

　　　　

　　　　White people are uninteresting. For starters, the color white sucks. Mental institutions are painted white and mental institutions suck. Snow is white and it sucks. Tighty Whities were designed with the white person’’s itty bitty white penis and teeny tiny white balls in mind, and they suck.

　　　　

　　　　白人是无趣的。首先白色就很糟。精神病院都被漆成白色，而精神病院很糟。雪是白的并且雪也很糟。白色紧身内裤是考虑到白人细小的（河蟹）Penis和超小的（河蟹）balls而设计的，而这也很糟。

　　　　

　　　　Take a look at the sporting events that white people participate in. Soccer? Hockey? Lame. Who wants to watch a game where youre lucky to ever see one where either team scores more than one or two points max? There is a grand total of 5 non-white people who participate in these sports (excluding Jamaica, China, Mexico, India, Korea, the entire continent of South America as well as Africa) and thats why they suck. Lumberjack olympics? Figure skating? Bull riding? HAHAHA! No need to explain. I know that many people will disagree with me when I say that these sports suck, but guess what? Theyre white. Who gives a ****.

　　　　

　　　　看看白人们参加的运动吧。足球？错。你看见那场比赛有球队得到1、2分以上？在这些运动上，总共只有5个非白人民族参与（不包括牙买加、中国、墨西哥、印度、韩国和南美及非洲的大部分地区），这就是为什么它是糟糕的啦。伐木工人奥运会？花样滑冰？骑公牛比赛？啊哈哈哈哈哈！不解释。我知道当我说这些运动很糟的时候很多人会不同意我，但是你猜怎么样？他们是白的（由白人占主流）。Who gives a ****.

　　　　

　　　　White people have no skills. Mexicans are very efficient at stealing, fixing up lowriders, making burritos and sleeping. Black people are world renowned rappers, basketball players and breakdancers. They have also mastered the art of slapping 0es and jocking hoes. Chinese people are KungFu masters. What can white people do? Theyre pretty good at driving 55 in the fast lane on a highway. Theyre also pretty good at being shitty. The next time youre at a party, try picking up girls with your computer programming skills and see how far that gets you.

　　　　

　　　　白人完全没有能力。而墨西哥在偷窃,安装低底盘汽车，做墨西哥卷和睡觉方面很有能力。黑人是国际知名的说唱歌手，篮球运动员和霹雳舞者。他们也很擅长**（译者吐槽：这话也太脏了）中国人则是功夫大师。白人会做什么？他们倒是擅长在高速快车道上用55码的速度驾驶。他们也擅长变得劣等。下次参加聚会，试着用你的电脑编程能力结识女孩，并且看看你们能走多远。

　　　　

　　　　Lastly, white people cant take a joke. Chances are, if you are white, you are on the phone with your lawyer right now trying to sue me for slander.

　　　　

　　　　最后，白人经不起开玩笑。或许经得起的话，如果你是白人，那你就马上给你的律师打电话控告我诽谤吧。